What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why am I so tired of seeing homeless people all over the place?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What measures do celebrities take to protect their images from being used for commercial purposes without permission? How much does this typically cost them?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What are the easiest stores for shoplifting?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

This moon in the solar system continues to surprise scientists with the discovery of alternating water forms on its surface. - Farmingdale Observer

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Having read so much about Archie and Lilibet not actually existing, does anyone have any proof that they not only exist but that Meghan gave birth to them?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Is it possible to revive a dead person in real life with black magic?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

TEXT:

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why would Trump make conspiracy claims that Haitians are eating pets in Ohio?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

What's an uncomfortable truth you've learned to accept?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Kuorans can you write a sad story about kpop?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How often do you watch the news on TV?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!